Your timing is great, with the exception of a few places where the held notes cut off earlier than you stop them.. I also think you should freestyle the backup vocals in the two places they"re included.
However, a lot of the notes themselves seem to be off, vastly in some places. To start off, the high "Start again" parts should be 16 rather than 14. A number of the other parts feel wrong as well.
Great work so far, and thank you for sharing it. I look forward to seeing more.