Oh

my

God

32

How

times

have

changed

66

These

girls

must

be

blind

or

102

Com

plete

ly

der

anged

139

But

time

seemed

to

halt

172

When

I

was

"Miss

Bal

ti

more

Crabs"

238

Am

ber!

That

move

is

far

too

dir

ty

282

Mo

ther,

wake

up

from

that

dream

308

Of

yours.

318

This

is

n’t

1

9

3

0!

352

You

can

laugh

but

life’s

a

test

418

Don’t

do

this,

don’t

do

that

451

Re

mem

ber

Mot

ther

knows

best

495

For

the

crown’s

in

the

vault

531

From

when

I

won

"Miss

Bal

ti

more

Crabs"

599

These

steps

are

per

fect

amm

u

ni

tion

635

Let

me

show

you

how

your

mom

my

dear

677

Took

out

the

comp

e

ti

tion

713

Girls,

go

get

’em!

Boys,

let’s

rhum

ba!

783

Those

poor

run

ner-

ups

886

Might

still

hold

some

grud

ges

928

They

pad

ded

their

’cups’

960

But

I

screwed

the

judg

es

999

Those

broads

thought

they’d

win

1031

If

a

plate

they

would

spin

1067

In

their

dance

1102

Not

a

chance!

1139

Boys,

put

me

down.

1176

Oh,

good

mor

ning

la

dies

1215

Let’s

see

what

you’ve

got.

1242

Twist

twist

twist

twist

1287

Mashed

po

ta

to

mam

bo

1322

Rea

dy?

Beg

in,

1349

On

my

show

you’ll

ne

ver

find

1382

A

thrus

ting

hip

or

bump

and

grind

1420

What’s

that,

a

dance

for

fleas

and

ticks?

1456

You

should

have

seen

my

bag

of

tricks!

1492

Ohh

I

hit

the

stage

ba

tons

a

blaze

1569

While

bel

ting

A

i

da

1606

And

pre

par

ing

sou

ffles

1642

But

that

tri

ple

so

mmer

sault

1675

Was

how

I

clinched

"Miss

Bal

ti

more

Crabs"

1780

Pro

ceed.

2351

Are

you

scared

we’re

on

live?

2390

No,

I’m

sure

I

can

cope!

2426

Well,

this

show

isn’t

n’t

broad

cast

2465

In

Cine

e

ma

scope

2498

I

ne

ver

drank

one

choc’

late

malt

2538

No

dess

erts

for

"Miss

Bal

ti

more

Crabs"

2610

This

one

will

ne

ver

get

a

date

2674

In

those

hand-

me-

down

clothes

2713

Kid,

she’ll

ne

ver

get

a

date

2751

’Til

da

ddy

buys

her

a

new

nose

2786

I

would

say

’oy

gevalt

~

if

I

was

n’t

2842

Miss

Bal

ti

more

Crabs

2893

Do

you

dance

like

you

dress?

2962

Am

ber,

there’s

no

need

to

be

cruel!

2997

Would

you

swim

in

an

in

te

gra

ted

pool?

3055

I

sure

would.

I’m

all

for

3102

In

te

gra

tion.

It’s

the

new

fron

tier!

3146

Not

in

Bal

ti

more

it

is

n’t.

3195

And

may

I

be

frank?

3224

First

imp

pres

sions

can

be

tough

3267

And

when

I

saw

you

I

knew

it

3304

If

your

size

weren’t

e

nough

3335

Your

last

an

swer

just

blew

it!

3376

And

so,

my

dear,

so

short

and

stout

3447

You’ll

ne

ver

be

"in"

3479

So

we’re

kick

ing

you

out!

3520

With

your

form

and

your

face

3560

Awww,

it

is

n’t

your

fault

3594

You’re

just

down

with

a

case

of

"Miss

3645

Bal

ti

more

Crabs!"

3772

You

may

go.

3834

Um

thank

you.

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