Jonathan Coulton - Skullcrusher Mountain
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Wel
come
to
my
se
cret
lair
35
On
Skull
cru
sher
Mou
~n
tain
74
I
hope
that
you’ve
en
joyed
your
stay
so
far
179
I
see
you’ve
met
my
as
sis
tant
Scar
face
234
His
ap
pea
rance
is
quite
dis
tur
bing
297
But
I
as
sure
you
he’s
harm
less
e
nough
360
He’s
a
sweet
heart,
calls
me
mas
ter
425
And
he
has
a
way
of
fin
ding
475
Pret
ty
things
500
And
brin
ging
them
to
me
555
O
~
~
~h
572
And
I’m
so
i
~n
to
you
623
But
I
~’m
way
too
sma
~rt
for
you
687
E
ven
my
hench
men
think
I’m
cra
zy
745
I’m
not
sur
pri
~sed
that
you
a
gree
808
If
you
could
find
some
wa
~y
to
be
876
A
lit
tle
bit
le
~ss
a
frai
~d
of
me
942
You’d
see
the
voi
ces
that
con
tro
~l
me
1002
From
in
side
my
head
1042
Say
I
should
n’t
ki
~ll
you
yet
1120
I
made
this
half-
po
ny
half-
mon
key
mo
~n
ster
1271
To
please
you
1292
But
I
get
the
fee
ling
that
you
don’t
li
~ke
it
1402
What’s
with
a
~ll
the
screa
ming?
1449
You
like
mon
keys,
you
like
po
nies
1514
May
be
you
don’t
like
mons
ters
so
much
1576
May
be
I
used
too
ma
ny
mon
keys
1642
Is
n’t
it
e
nough
to
know
that
I
ru
ined
a
po
ny
1722
Ma
king
a
gift
fo
~r
you?
1772
O
~
~
~h
1788
And
I’m
so
i
~n
to
you
1839
But
I
~’m
way
too
sma
~rt
for
you
1903
E
ven
my
hench
men
think
I’m
cra
zy
1961
I’m
not
sur
pri
~sed
that
you
a
gree
~
2024
If
you
could
find
some
wa
~y
to
be
2092
A
lit
tle
bit
le
~ss
a
frai
~d
of
me
2159
You’d
see
the
voi
ces
that
con
tro
~l
me
2218
From
in
side
my
head
2259
Say
I
should
n’t
ki
~ll
you
yet
2334
Pic
ture
the
two
~
~
of
us
2450
A
lone
in
side
my
gol
den
sub
mar
ine
2535
While
up
a
bove
the
wa
~ves
2582
My
dooms
day
squad
ig
nites
2627
The
at
mos
phe
~re
2664
And
all
the
foo
~ls
who
lead
their
foo
lish
lives
2741
May
find
it
quite
2772
Ex
plo
sive
2799
Well
it
wo
~n’t
mean
half
as
much
to
me
2867
If
I
don’t
have
you
~
here
2929
You
know
it
is
n’t
ea
sy
li
ving
here
3013
On
Skull
cru
sher
Moun
tain
3049
So
may
be
you
could
cut
me
just
a
lit
tle
slack
3155
Would
it
kill
you
to
be
ci
vil?
3206
I’ve
been
pa
tient,
I’ve
been
gra
cious
3274
And
this
moun
tain
is
co
vered
with
wo
~lves
3334
Hear
them
how
ling,
my
hun
gry
chil
dren
3404
May
be
you
should
stay
and
have
a
no
ther
drink
3475
And
think
a
bout
me
a
~nd
you
3531
O
~
~
~h
3548
And
I’m
so
i
~n
to
you
3600
But
I
~’m
way
too
sma
~rt
for
you
3663
E
ven
my
hench
men
think
I’m
cra
zy
3722
I’m
not
sur
pri
~sed
that
you
a
gree
3784
If
you
could
find
some
wa
~y
to
be
3852
A
lit
tle
bit
le
~ss
a
frai
~d
of
me
3919
You’d
see
the
voi
ces
that
con
tro
~l
me
3978
From
in
side
my
head
4019
Say
I
should
n’t
ki
~ll
you
yet
4086
I
should
n’t
ki
~ll
you
yet
4150
I
should
n’t
ki
~ll
you
yet